+ TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNING + This article contains mentions of eating disorders, self-neglect, neglect of hygiene, neglect of surroundings, severe depression, severe anxiety, menstruation, mania, nail and skin picking/biting, addiction, bugs, urine, feces, and blood. If any of these topics are triggering to you, please skip this article. If you're looking for something else to read, check out my previous post right HERE. Thank you!
A Creative Retelling of Every Lie I’ve Told to Get Out of Work and the Probable Truths Behind Them
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I've used this example before, but unfortunately, it bears repeating. A modern-day employer would sooner okay a day off to bring your temperamental succulent to urgent care than give you 24 hours to regain your sanity at home. That scat-stained mentality leads those with mental illness to come up with socially acceptable white lies to secretly use sick days for our emotional ailments. Consistently harvesting vague and phony physical symptoms to request time off without judgment is as daunting as trying to give yourself a pedicure in a sandstorm. Hopefully, by way of continuing to speak our truths, there will come a day where skipping work to stay home, and cry won't be the end of the damn world. So without further boo-hoo, I give you all the bullshit I've probably said (and truly wanted to say) to my bosses in the name of preserving my mental health without getting fired.
How To Ask Your Work For a Mental Health Day Without Being Fired (Hopefully)
Me ghosting work to handle my mental health
For many employers, calling in sick to take a mental health day conjures images of skipping work to snort avocado toast and get a round of Kybella. While partaking in this kind of Instagrammable wellness is 1000% my brand and a totally valid form self-care, many of us require mental health days for those showerless, stay-in-bed marathons complete with cashmere-coated teeth, and a floor full of Ding Dong wrappers. Sadly, work culture isn’t yet at a place where we can write honest cover letters to our prospective employers (“Skills include: bipolar management! Holding back tears! Showering with Wet Wipes!”) proclaiming our disorders. That said, we can forget fearlessly asking for the accommodations we might need to better manage our moods at work. Until we get to that distant utopia, we need to figure out how to ask for time off to tend to our mental wellness without the risk of job loss or judgment. I went straight to the source and asked business managers, career coaches, HR professionals (and more!) what to do. See what they had to say below.
5 Mental Health Apps You Should Try Next Month (That Are Not Fucking Headspace)
10 points if you can spot my special ass learning how to use a real camera in every reflection in this picture. Also - Headspace is awesome; I'm just tired of seeing it on app lists.
I know you need another app like you need a water slide in your car, but hear me out. These are some gems.
What to Get Your Favorite Saddie For V-Day
Happy Valentines Day to everyone except my greasy hair and crispy ends
Self-care gift roundups can literally munch my beef sheets. If I had a pill for every list that suggests buying the mentally ill "moisturizing socks!," I'd look like the bottom of my purse. A Coconut-Colada candle isn’t going to drive me to my psychiatrist’s office, wipe my ass, or file my taxes. While objet d'Bed Bath and Beyond do appear in these suggestions, this list strives to move past bath bombs and deeper into unisex portable mobile toilet territory. You can even click on some of them to buy because I am such. A good friend.
Self-Help Books to Rescue You From Fuckery
If you struggle with…
Eating Your Feelings
Read: Eat This Not That (David Zinczenko with Matt Goulding)
Emotional eating is literally my brand. In fact, the other day at work I ate my weight in vending machine snacks, hoping it would suppress the day's anxiety. Surprise! Didn’t work. And all I have is a puffy, sodium-filled under-eye area to show for it. Cue the Eat This Not That series.
A Self-Care Kit For Your Next Depressive Episode - PART THREE!
HERE IT IS. The final chunk of the list of things that you can stash away to make your emergency self-care kit. What is a self-care kit? You can find out HERE in PART ONE and then catch up on PART TWO if you haven't read it already. If you have any suggestions for items to add to the list, let me know in the comments or send me a message! xo
A Self-Care Kit for Your Next Depressive Episode - PART DEUX
HANG ON! If you haven't read part one of this article - you can do so right HERE!