TOPIC: Radical Acceptance - taken from Dialectical Behavioral Therapy.
WHEN TO USE: When you're having trouble experiencing grueling, painful realities. I used to use this to mourn and move on from breakups. Try this to soothe any trauma such as the passing of a loved one, acceptance of an addiction, change in health, or realizing you need to seek help. You can also use it for less-pressing situations like, "fuck, I really need to do my laundry." The possibilities are truly endless.
Some Valentines Day flowers from my darling Pops. If no one gave you flowers that day it's okay. We can share mine. xo
TOPIC: The Five Love Languages
WHEN TO USE: If you're not great at communicating with your significant other. If they're not great at communicating with you. If you and/or your partner feel undervalued in the relationship even though the other party feels they are doing all that they can to show you their love. If you just want to know what the fuck your love language is, Dominique, GOD GET ON WITH IT.
Happy Valentines Day to everyone except my greasy hair and crispy ends
Self-care gift roundups can literally munch my beef sheets. If I had a pill for every list that suggests buying the mentally ill "moisturizing socks!," I'd look like the bottom of my purse. A Coconut-Colada candle isn’t going to drive me to my psychiatrist’s office, wipe my ass, or file my taxes. While objet d'Bed Bath and Beyond do appear in these suggestions, this list strives to move past bath bombs and deeper into unisex portable mobile toilet territory. You can even click on some of them to buy because I am such. A good friend.
Me reading my thought log and realizing I didn't need to spend 6 hours sobbing about dropping an M&M on the floor.
TOPIC: How to make and use a thought log to regulate your emotions. To read more about thought logs, you can check out this book here that I reference for this installment of Therapy Thursday. It's called Mind Over Mood and I used it while I was going to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).
WHEN TO USE: If you need something to calm down a panic attack, intense thoughts, irrational thoughts, worries, anger, jealousy, etc.
HOW TO USE: Click HERE for more info on the example below. For more detail on how to use these charts, click HERE to read the description from the International Bipolar Foundation.
EXAMPLES: Here are some things to note:
-In the "Your Feelings" column, rate how extreme your moods feel when you are in the situation.
-In the "Automatic Thoughts" column, circle your 'hot thought,' which is the most prominent thought that keeps popping up for you.
-"Case For" and "Case Against" just means 'what evidence do you have FOR or AGAINST the automatic thoughts you are thinking.
-Finally, rate your moods again at the end of the chart.
WHY IT'S LEGIT: Because nobody every said, "I've been really into freaking the fuck out about literally everything lately. You should try it."
ABOUT THERAPY THURSDAY: Join me every Thursday on my Instagram story (@domjoellehaikel) as I share with you a new tip/trick I learned in therapy over the years. If you can't catch the stories in time, look out for written recaps like these or a replay of the story on my Insta page.
TOPIC: How to tell if you're trying to win an argument instead working through one productively. According to my anger management class, winning an argument is not the goal, and only leads to the creation of more problems.
WHEN TO USE: If you have trouble resolving arguments with loved ones or people in general. If you tend to fight dirty and use insults, underhanded comments, physical harm, and other emotionally abusive tactics. If you're often irritable or lash out at others. If you think you could benefit from anger management.
HOW TO USE (With Examples): Here's how to tell if you're trying to win:
-You point the finger at the other person: "It's your fault I'm like this!"
-You bring up blackmail-worthy information to hurt the other person: "Remember when you dated that abusive guy before me? No wonder you're abusive too."
-You bring up past history: "Well, at 3 pm on October 7th, 1982 you forgot to wash the dishes! Why are you getting mad at me for forgetting today?!"
-You use black and white statements like 'you always' or 'you never:' "You ALWAYS forget to wash the dishes!"
-You become passive aggressive: You expect your partner to read your mind. You expect them to know how you feel without your having to express it.
-You use statements like, 'you're just like [insert person or thing here!]:' "You're just like my abusive ex-boyfriends' dog!"
WHY IT'S LEGIT: Realistically it's probably going to be hard to catch yourself doing these things right away. It has been for me. If I'm arguing with my significant other, for example, I like to have him catch me mid-fight when I accidentally pull one of those moves above. It's annoying but it helps me wake up and realize that I'm just trying to win and be mean.
ABOUT THERAPY THURSDAY: Join me every Thursday on my Instagram story (@domjoellehaikel) as I share with you a new tip/trick I learned in therapy over the years. If you can't catch the stories in time, look out for written recaps like these or on my
For me, releasing the first installment of Self-Care Tarot is equal in joy to buying a Saint Laurent bag and coming home to discover that it's stuffed with 56 packs of Fun Dip and a blank check signed by avec-mullet Dacre Montgomery. In other words, I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. -Dom
Last week I did a special (Friday) edition of #TherapyThursday on the Half The Story Instagram. Here's the recap below if you missed it!
TOPIC: DEAR MAN (Read more about this skill in the DBT Diary Card and Skills Coach app!)
I'll be pairing up with tarot reader Cassandra Snow for a monthly self-care tarot card reading! Starting Feb. 1st, look for some helpful self-care tips, to accompany the card of the month. Until then, check out the interview I did with Cassandra below to learn about our new segment. Find out more about the relationship between mental health and tarot, interpreting its messages, and how to enjoy this segment even if you think tarot is as legitimate as Gwyneth Paltrow in a lab coat.
Welcome back to #therapythursday beeb. I've started saving these Insta-stories on the highlights bar of my Instagram page as well. Two recaps are better than one. Let's get into it.
TOPIC: Role-Playing (Read more about this skill in the DBT Diary Card and Skills Coach app!)
There is scientific proof that traditional therapy and western medicine are legit resources for the treatment of mental illness. Both have helped me become the moderate resemblance of a normal human I am today. I am a firm believer in these methods. However, in recent years, my western doctors have instructed me to add non-Rx supplements like Omega-3’s, and Vitamin D to my medication plan. Does that mean we should embrace the possible offerings of holistic, spiritual, or unconventional treatments? With this new series, Trick or Treatment, we will find le fuck out.
After a brief holiday/self-care break...IM BACK with a new #TherapyThursday. I swear there are new blog posts on their way as well. Look out for a NEW SERIES starting tomorrow!!! Thanks for your patience as I figure out why every blogger is able to write 300 posts per week and I struggle to write one. I'm going to go ahead and blame it on the fact that many of my posts to come will involve a little bit of research so that I can give you information beyond that of my personal experience. Trust me if I just talked about myself all the time I'd be a fashion blogger posting pictures of my Saint Laurent bags next to acai bowls. Nothing wrong with that journey, it's just not mine (even though someday I hope to get to that level of bloggery). xoxo!
Happy holidays all! Here's the latest #TherapyThursday from last week.
TOPIC: Building Mastery; Reminding yourself you are a capable, accomplished human when you feel like a total skid mark.
WHEN TO USE: When you feel like you haven't done shit all day, accomplished anything in life, feel worthless, or have a large/new goal or that seems impossible to achieve.
If you struggle with…
Eating Your Feelings
Read: Eat This Not That (David Zinczenko with Matt Goulding)
Emotional eating is literally my brand. In fact, the other day at work I ate my weight in vending machine snacks, hoping it would suppress the day's anxiety. Surprise! Didn’t work. And all I have is a puffy, sodium-filled under-eye area to show for it. Cue the Eat This Not That series.
Hay! Okay I really need to get better at posting my #TherapyThursday recaps...on Thursdays. I'm still getting the damn hang of consistency so I am grateful for your patience.
HERE IT IS. The final chunk of the list of things that you can stash away to make your emergency self-care kit. What is a self-care kit? You can find out HERE in PART ONE and then catch up on PART TWO if you haven't read it already. If you have any suggestions for items to add to the list, let me know in the comments or send me a message! xo
WOW. OKAY. It's been 10 days since I've posted on my blog and that is no good. I went on vacation and then soon after my phone broke and my will to carry on diminished and I just wanted to come home after each day and zone out to Fixer Upper, eat soba noodles and think about nothing. Mental illness in action. That said, please enjoy this very, very, very belated #TherapyThursday recap from last week...and STAY TUNED for this weeks #TT on my Instagram TONIGHT!
HANG ON! If you haven't read part one of this article - you can do so right HERE!
#PillPals is a new segment where contributing writers and artists share mental health-related work on Take Your Pills. If you would like to contribute art or writing, please send an email to dom@take-your-pills.com for consideration! Thank you!
Here's your #TherapyThursday recap! If you have any topics you'd like for me to cover - send me a message!
I am over the notion that those with mental illness should be ashamed of how much time they spend in bed when we feel like shit. I’m also over the fact that we feel like we should feel shame over, to the point of hiding, our depressive behaviors (like skipping showers, crying for hours, and wiping snot on our comforters). That being said, today’s a great day to finally get honest about what goes on when we’re bound to ours beds, drowning in drool.